madmurdoch
01-02-2008, 03:39 PM
PAWS FOR THOUGHT
An Alsatian walks into a telegram office, takes out a blank form and writes: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."
The clerk examines the paper and tells the dog: "There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof' for the same price."
"But," the dog replied, "that would make no sense at all."
A mother has twin boys and names them dah do and the other do dah, Dah do has a horrendous speach impediment and because of it has real issues talking to anyone except his brother who loves him dearly. On their 8th birthday Dah do decides its time to sort out his speach impediment and takes him to a specialist who discovers that through song, Dah do can Talk. Months go by with him singing all the time then one day as they are crossing the road a bus hits Do dah at 60 miles per hour, he is spread all over the road, in shock Dah do runs home and says to his mum," b b b sh sh sh sh f f f f ".His mum, curious says " sing what your trying to say" Dah do replys" Kay... Guess who got killed by a bus today, Do Dah Do Dah..."
A man walks into a pub, he has had a really bad day. He walks to the bar and he asks the bar man,
"Can I have a shot of all your strongest spirits in a pint glass"
The bar man makes the pint of spirits and asks
"Have you had a bad day?"
"Yeah, I dont want to talk about it" repies the man.
The end of the night comes and the man stumbles home drunk on his pint of spirits.
The next day the man returns to the same pub and the same bar man serves him.
"You look like you've had another bad day", the bar man says, "Do you want the same drink as yesterday?"
"NO WAY!" the man replies, "I was blowing chunks all night last night!"
"What, you were sick?" the bar man asks.
"No, chunks is my dog!!" Replies the man.
An Alsatian walks into a telegram office, takes out a blank form and writes: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."
The clerk examines the paper and tells the dog: "There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof' for the same price."
"But," the dog replied, "that would make no sense at all."
A mother has twin boys and names them dah do and the other do dah, Dah do has a horrendous speach impediment and because of it has real issues talking to anyone except his brother who loves him dearly. On their 8th birthday Dah do decides its time to sort out his speach impediment and takes him to a specialist who discovers that through song, Dah do can Talk. Months go by with him singing all the time then one day as they are crossing the road a bus hits Do dah at 60 miles per hour, he is spread all over the road, in shock Dah do runs home and says to his mum," b b b sh sh sh sh f f f f ".His mum, curious says " sing what your trying to say" Dah do replys" Kay... Guess who got killed by a bus today, Do Dah Do Dah..."
A man walks into a pub, he has had a really bad day. He walks to the bar and he asks the bar man,
"Can I have a shot of all your strongest spirits in a pint glass"
The bar man makes the pint of spirits and asks
"Have you had a bad day?"
"Yeah, I dont want to talk about it" repies the man.
The end of the night comes and the man stumbles home drunk on his pint of spirits.
The next day the man returns to the same pub and the same bar man serves him.
"You look like you've had another bad day", the bar man says, "Do you want the same drink as yesterday?"
"NO WAY!" the man replies, "I was blowing chunks all night last night!"
"What, you were sick?" the bar man asks.
"No, chunks is my dog!!" Replies the man.