theghost
01-02-2008, 09:13 AM
Best Irish joke for a long time!
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day.
Mick, the bartender says, " You'll not be drinking anymore tonight Paddy.
Paddy replies, "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then."
Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
"Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face,
"Shoite, Shoite!"
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine.
He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame.
He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement and falls flat on his face.
"Bi Jaysus... I'm fecin' feked," he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and slithers inside.
He takes a look up the stairs and says "No fecin' way".
He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says to himself "I can make it to the bed."
He grips the door post, hauls himself up and takes a step into the room - and falls flat on his face.
He says "fck it" and crawls into bed.
The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"
Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was fecin' pished. But how d'you know that?
"Mick phoned... you left your wheelchair at the pub!"
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day.
Mick, the bartender says, " You'll not be drinking anymore tonight Paddy.
Paddy replies, "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then."
Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
"Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face,
"Shoite, Shoite!"
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine.
He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame.
He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement and falls flat on his face.
"Bi Jaysus... I'm fecin' feked," he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and slithers inside.
He takes a look up the stairs and says "No fecin' way".
He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says to himself "I can make it to the bed."
He grips the door post, hauls himself up and takes a step into the room - and falls flat on his face.
He says "fck it" and crawls into bed.
The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"
Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was fecin' pished. But how d'you know that?
"Mick phoned... you left your wheelchair at the pub!"